Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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