But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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