Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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