I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
