I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
