just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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