My brain says no but my pants say off.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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