I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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