Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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