Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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