When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I understand Curling. That high.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
