sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
