I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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