Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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