Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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