I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
