Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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