This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
