dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i dont even know how to be here
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
