was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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