ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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