Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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