we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
