# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
