to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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