Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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