did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
