I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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