Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
