its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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