i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
