Kiss
Puke
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You left your phone here
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