the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
