its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
