I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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