No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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