lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
