It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
