I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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