he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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