Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
