I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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