Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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