You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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