so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
