fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
