ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize