I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
