real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
