when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Porn is love you can see.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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