id be glad to
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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