So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i think i just lost a toe
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
