She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize