in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
