My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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