I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i wish my penis had a tongue
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
