wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
