paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
