I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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