then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
